I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
