took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
