Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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