I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i just had sex bonerless
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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