he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
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His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
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Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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