Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
