she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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