Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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