your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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