We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
