She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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