Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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