I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
