If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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