whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
honey bunches of taint.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
25 People Confess The Sex Acts They Were Super Ashamed Of
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity