in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?