singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.