I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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