No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
