Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
