After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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