JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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