Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
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Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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