just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
