"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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