Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
