i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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