He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
