the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
