i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
i think we sleep fucked last night...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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