I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
