I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
