CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
