bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
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Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
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We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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