I need help removing her.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
