Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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