Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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