I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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