She said her name was "party"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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