I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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