where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
