Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize