I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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