I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
