I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
