I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
