She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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