at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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