i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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