so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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