If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize