dude i'm inner monologue high
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
