I must be too annoying 4 u.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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