Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
