Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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