I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
