well I can't set my house on fire every night
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
