Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
